taking chances on me

not as smooth of a morning as yesterday thus far, but still not too bad of a start.

i got invited to sit in on a very high level meeting yesterday. it ran a bit long, but it was still pretty informative. the chief himself came over to my office and invited me to hang out and sit in on it (the first time he’s spoken to me since my second interview with him weeks and weeks ago – LOL). there were a couple of consultants here to do a presentation of their proposal. the presentation was dry in some parts but interesting in others. my knowledge of the affairs that led up to and involve their proposal is quite limited – but i already know this project is huge. call it what you will, but my state, this state that i am so proud of and love to call my home, is a pioneer in so many ways. love it, hate it, its diversity and unique situations allow/force it to engage in a number of different social experiments in order to solve problems. and it’s just cool to be in the midst of all of it and see what’s happening as minds come together and try to cooperate.

coolness.

anyhow, i’m thinking of killing this blog again – or at least the identity. :) maybe blog under my real name for once instead of this pseudonym. i just find it limiting to be using an alter-ego – who is me in many ways – but who is also just a mere creation of who i wish i could be.

i guess i’ll figure it out. but in the meantime, if you happen to jump onto this page, and no longer find it belonging to “abbagirl,” don’t be alarmed. it’s just me jumping from one identity to another.

:-T

running-wise, i’m making improvements! but the fact that i still smoke at least one or two cigs a day is holding me back a bit. i’m going to quit completely soon, i swear!! my first race, the bay to breaker 12k, is coming up very soon. can i run 7 miles? um, no – not quite yet . . . . but there’s still a lot of time left. plus, one of my best friends is coming to town to run it with me. she’s much more of a runner than i am, and so that’s motivation enough for me to get on track and be able to keep up!

my second race is then coming up june 1st, a 10k. i did this particular one last year, too – it’s in my hometown – and all i remember from that race was that, even though it’s obviously shorter than a 12k, it was just so damned hot by about 9 a.m. and i got parched very fast. hydration is always an issue for me. i spend my day drinking coffee, mountain dew, and sometimes sports drinks, and only a couple of glasses of water, if that, a day. so i’ve just got to do a better job of taking care of myself . . . .

i did get set up with a personal trainer last night. i’ve got a membership with 24-hour fitness – and when i first got the membership a couple of years ago, it was from some crusty thug-like dude who was quite rude and abrupt with me. he sold me my membership – but never told me about all the benefits that came with my membership, including five free sessions with a personal trainer. it was like he couldn’t get me off his hands fast enough.

i’m still mad about it when i think about it. how rude!!!

so yesterday evening, i was at the gym talking with one of the associates, and after he pulled up my membership info, he was all, “WTF? you never used any of your free PT sessions! you just let them expire!”

i was all, “no way! WTH!”

and so i let myself get talked into buying two PT sessions.

i know, i know – i’m such a sucker. but you know, i need a PT. i need tips on eating right. i could use some advice for maximizing my work-out. my best friend nick-named me “skinny bones,” although the name would be just as apt for her, but i could use some extra toning in certain parts.

speaking of getting in better shape, i also made myself sign up for adult swimming lessons last night.

i’m feeling a number of things simultaneously.

i feel like a ‘tard because, although i know i can’t possibly be the only adult (ha ha! “adult”) in the world who can’t swim, well, it sure does feel like it.

i also feel very scared and apprehensive, which both, in turn, make me feel like a real coward.

but i’m also excited because, as i mentioned before, i know that if i get the hang of it, i’ll like it. i just need to get over the fear factor.

:-P

this is my year to do it all!! i really feel that. lots of people believe in god. lots of people believe jesus was the son of god. lots of people believe that the potential for godhood lies within us all, and the way to unlocking that potential is through taking “the middle way.”

me, i just get by on a daily basis. and yeah, i’m quite fond of superstitious stuff, like asian astrology, to guide me.

so when the ancient sages foresee that the year of the rat is good for those born in the year of the monkey, damn me, but it gives me that extra boost of confidence i need as i make each and every decision that comes across my path. it allows me to believe that, whatever happens, whatever i choose to do, all will be right.

it’s the sort of confidence i didn’t have the past few years.

things come in cycles. to me, there’s a reason why people still adhere to the philosophies that the ancient sages have woven, why they still believe that those philosophies still hold true today.

yeah, call me weird. but i never said i was normal, did i?

:-T