abbagirl, the chickenshit

this has been a lethargic weekend.

i've been feeling all out-of-sorts -- so i spent the weekend completely exhausted and achy.

i'm one of those people who rarely goes in to see a doctor unless it's a downright emergency. i haven't had a physical check-up since i was perhaps under the age of 10, but i've never really worried about stuff like that because i generally don't do anything too heinous to jeopardize my health. . . .

but since i'm getting on in my years, and because i have at least a few ailments that tend to run in my family, i think it's time i got my physical done. i've been having a few recurring problems lately -- nothing major but definitely a nuisance when it comes about -- that are reminiscent of stuff that happened to my dad when he was in his thirties. so the sooner i face all that crap and see whether i've got anything to worry about, the better, i think.

and it's time i faced the music and got that dreaded pap smear thing done. i've actually had two appointments to get that done -- but, uh, for some reason, i never, um, made it to either of them. . . .

*instinctively clenching thighs tightly together*

i'm scared!!!

i've also come to a major decision lately, and i'm determined to see it through. this is my year to get it done!

what i've decided to do is . . .

. . . learn how to swim.

i'm going to do it!!!

no, i do not know how to swim. but i've decided that it's time to do something, when i'm laying around a body of water, other than look hot and sultry in a two-piece and soak up rays.

there's an aquatic center near my house that offers adult swim lessons. i can actually sign up and enroll in a class over the internet.

i really want to do it. for one thing, people who swim regularly tend to have awesome, spectacular bodies. for another, i've always wanted to do a triathlon. and lastly, i just know i'd absolutely love swimming, once i got the hang of it -- i know i'd never want to leave the water!

so, um, why is it otherwise so hard for me to click the button and go ahead and enroll?

my stomach was doing nervous roilings while i contemplated signing up for a class.

it's not that i'm scared or anything. . . .

well, okay, maybe i am a little . . . .

but there's nothing to it, right??

i went to the bookstore yesterday to splurge on books. when i went to the cash register to pay for my selections, the girl at the counter took a look at my wallet and said she liked it.

my wallet is a simple black one made of man-made materials, not leather, and it has pink stitchings along the edges. it also has a pink heartogram on it.

"thanks!" i told her. "i actually got it on a whim, 'cause it represents one of my favorite bands."

"h.i.m.?" she asked knowingly.

i was amazed. she did not seem like much of a h.i.m. fan, i.e., all goth-glammed in black clothes, black lipstick, black nails. but then, i suppose, neither do i.

sometimes i wish i could give in to my inner gothpunkgrrl a little more.

but damn it all, i think i might be getting a bit too old for that crap.

*sigh*

and finally, i'd like to say . . .

my job's a joke.

i didn't do diddly-squat all week last week. i anticipate that this week will be more of the same.

but hey, that's why they pay me the big bucks, though, i guess. it's not very easy just sitting around doing diddly-squat.

but i suppose it could be worse . . . .

or maybe that would be considered better?