prioritizing

things have started picking up pretty quickly at work.

when i interviewed and first started working in the office, i was warned that the pace could shift pretty dramatically without a second's notice. it sure did that today.

i'm pleased to say that my boss and i have amazing rapport. seriously -- we're pretty much b.f.f. at this point. she rocks!

i think i have a weird personality quirk -- in that a comfortable conversation pace for me is actually fairly quick. i'm not a very chatty person -- in fact, i sometimes don't even like to talk -- but my mind is just pretty jumpy, and i can react and speak quickly when i'm conversing with someone. my boss goes at the same pace, and so the give-and-take between us, whether we're shooting the breeze or she's teaching me something new, is fairly easy but brisk. it's kinda nice.

she did throw me a curve ball today: she loaned me out to another office across the hall. i now pretty much have to take charge of the hiring/interview process for that other office because there's no one in that office to do it.

rules for hiring at any state government entity are pretty numerous and complicated. the golden state is employer to hundreds of thousands of employees spread out all over, from the redwoods of the north to the desert in the south. each agency/department exists separate and apart from each other, of course, but there are certain basic rules that all entities must adhere to when facilitating employment to make sure everything is done smoothly and uniformly.

basically, i need to learn all that crap within the span of a few weeks. i have to fill 6 positions. so today was spent trying to familiarize myself with everything -- and i probably will have to do so again tomorrow, too.

what's cool is that my boss understands that it's all new to me and that i'll need at least some time to get a feel for how to do things.

anyhow, so basically i had to sit through a few meetings with key people today. what i noticed, during the meetings, which were quite impromptu and consisted of just popping into people's offices, was that all these people were scared stiff of my boss. she packs more clout than i thought. one lady started nervously chattering when we cornered her in her office, and blocks of sweat soon started gleaming on her face.

i was just impressed. i get a kick out of seeing other people cower and shit in their pants in the wake of authority figures.

one thing i'm really starting to see is just how unlimited the landscape is when it comes to choosing a career when you've managed to arm yourself with a law degree. i think my home state rocks -- because it provides opportunities for you to utilize that education, even if you're not a "real" attorney, to the max, increases your value to prospective employers, and still allows you to make a more than adequate living with, at the very least, middle-class wages.

not to pimp out the golden state as an employer. . . . ;)

i'm still learning how to disengage my sense of self from the bar exam. if i'm going to be a life-time failure, as i do fear i'll end up being, then i think i'll continue to have a difficult time finding worth and value in myself as an intelligent person. but that's why it's just so good for me to disentangle myself from the world of attorneys and pursue other avenues and see that there are just as many opportunities in the non-legal world as there are in the legal world.

i'm not saying i wouldn't love to be able to call myself a real attorney. hell yeah, i would! and i know it'd make my fam proud.

but you only live once. when you die, you're gone, and no one will remember you beyond two or three generations. unless you're like me and will die childless and alone, except for a houseful of well-loved but bratty, fat chihuahuas. but within that one small window of time that you have to experience the joy of breathing, thinking, and being alive, you can choose to pursue your own course of happiness or you can choose to let other factors dictate your course, which won't necessarily result in happiness.

that's why, with less than a month left until results are released, i'm just not fretting. at least not yet. and it's not that i'm putting it off or trying to ignore the reality of it. i'm just kinda over it and done with it -- at least at the moment. we'll see if i'm still feeling that way in two weeks or so. :-P

but it's just that, for me, barring all unforeseen superceding events, because i'm more or less a third on my way to the inevitable end of being stone cold dead and having worms and bacteria feast upon my corpse, starting at all orifices, i figure it's high time i re-prioritized and make sure i pay attention to the things that i think are more worth my while.

like bratty fat chihuahuas.

and reading and writing.

and girls in short shorts.

and abba.

and other things like that.