on vacation

sunbathed by the ocean and the pool.

listened to the waves soothingly crash upon the shore in unending, soft cycles.

sunburned myself.

read child of god by cormac mccarthy and two green lantern comic books.

wished i had brought more books to read.

watched a lot of movies i've already seen before or never saw before.

ate oreo gelato at my pleasure.

discovered the mellow yumminess of pacifico cerveza.

learning to breathe easy

when my heart races frenetically, i feel panicked. like the world is about to end. and i feel stifled, as if i can't breathe.

that's when i have to tell myself to stop. take deep breaths. go with those feelings instead of trying to persuade myself that they don't exist. and i stay with those feelings until the weight of the panic disappears and i am okay again.

find myself. center myself. until my racing heart stills, and my mind rests easy.