the never-ending saga of mundanity that is abbagirl's life

remember that big decision i had been trying to make before? on whether or not to go to grad school next year?

that decision got put off the burner for a while, as i tried to get myself situated at the office with this new job and as i struggle to put together some semblance of a steady study schedule. nonetheless, it still remained very much in my thoughts, and i'd perpetually been trying my best to weigh the pros and cons of it all these past few months.

there were so many factors to consider. now, though, i am happy to say that a decision has been made.

but i won't say what it is.

yet.

:-T

instead, over time, i think it will eventually become obvious at some point what my decision is as i continue to blog about all my goings-on and stuff. but yes, it really was a difficult decision to make. . . . i put off making the decision for as long as possible because i really couldn't make up my mind. depending on how i was feeling on a particular day, i would end up preferring one option over the other -- but my preference would not remain absolute for long. even now, i'm damned if i know whether the route i've chosen to take is the one that is the "best" for me. . . .

but suffice to say, in the end, i think all the major choices we make have the potential to be the "best" ones, so long as we make 'em so. as a result, i know i can only win regardless of the choices i make. what's important to remember is that even when making a major decision, regardless of how major it seems, the story doesn't end there. there are still many more options to be created, many more roads that will pop up on the horizon as you continue on your journey. so even if one possibility seems to be closed off to you as a result of a decision you make, you still have the power to create more opportunities for yourself, and your story will always continue on and introduce you to more and more adventures.

so stay tuned. the saga of abbagirl has only just begun.

:-T

speaking of sagas . . . .

trying to get into a regular studying schedule for the bar has been a saga in and of itself. . . .

:-P

things come up to distract me from studying -- or i'm too tired to concentrate -- or i'd much rather waste my time doing something else -- or i'm too bored. . . .

but the whip needs to come down, and it needs to come down hard. abbagirl is just getting too lazy for her own good.

:-P

if i study productively and intensively enough, then i can pass -- i know it. i'm remembering a post i put up, right after the last bar exam was over, in which i wrote about how doable i felt the bar exam to be. like the questions weren't that hard. and my issue-spotting isn't the problem, either. it's the darned presentation of the issues in the essays.

but geez louise, i don't know how much more clearer i can be in framing my essay. i used outlines provided by my then-bar review course, each of which provided standardized paragraphs for how you should write your essay for any potential issues that arise. and i studied those fuckers -- i memorized almost verbotem the clear and concise paragraphs.

now . . . i'm not sure whether those outlines, which my bar review course touted as the sure-fire study aid to help one pass, does any good. because those sample essays that got the high scores in the 70- to 75-point range from the bar essays website seem to be just mostly like, well, regular essays. like, they're hella long and wordy, the type of essays that i thought i was told in my bar review lectures might be swell as a law review article but would not get me points on the bar exam. instead, they said, avoid all temptation to write those overly pedantic essays and just make sure your essays are clear and that your key terms are bolded and CAPPED.

it's true that it was hard to pay attention in bar review class, and my attention often wandered. but i could've sworn that this is what we were told.

so. like, dude. WTF!

O_O

in the meantime, ugh! it's monday -- so hopefully, it'll be a slow day, and i can try to sneak peaks at my outlines every now and then.

my appetite is whacked out. i've got a race coming up this weekend (the one providing the free pancakes afterward). my running is petering off and is not as consistent anymore, but i hope to do all right with this race; it's only ("only") 4 miles. because i haven't been consistent with my running these past two weeks, my body has no idea what's going on. my metabolism is high and i'm always hungry -- and yet my body doesn't burn up the food very fast, so everything i eat tends to sit at my middle.

my pervy personal trainer has been pestering me to set up my next appointment with him, but i haven't because, well, he's pervy, and also because i don't want him to measure my body fat and see that i haven't been adhering to my nutritional schedule. i'm going to put him off for another week and try to get back on the diet and maybe also try to schedule a personal training session at the other gym that's also located near my house.

yeah, i'd really rather go to another gym than see the pervy personal trainer again. like, it'd be a wholly different matter if it were a pervy but cute chick in form-fitting work-out attire as my personal trainer; like, she could feel me up all she wanted. but instead, it's some shrimpy, half-century old, pervy dude with a barrel chest and a sneaky look about his face.

maybe it's just me . . . he is a nice guy.

but he just weirds me out.

:-T