in/out

i am blushing furiously right now.

i have been for the past 30 minutes.

my goodness. what an onslaught. it was unexpected.

i just got outed at work.

it kinda bothers me, yes. like i mentioned in another post before, who i am personally does not have any room in the workplace. this is just a place where i clock in and clock out. people better not ask me "what i am" any more than they should ask me whether i'm gay or straight. like, none of your business. and i just don't like being talked about -- and it's become clear to me that i have been talked about, or at least speculated about, which does make me uncomfortable.

so what gave me away? what "outed" me?

not my clothes, not my hair. not my make-up, not my mannerisms. i guess it is not a single aspect of me that gives me away. make no mistake -- i can pass, and obviously i am quite successful about it. but i guess there is something a bit "off" about me that even i didn't know.

and apparently, the culprit is my watch.

i guess i shouldn't be too bothered; after all, the two people who speculated about whether i'm gay or not are at least half-gay themselves. like the gay guy who outed me said, "you're one of us."

so there's an "us" and "them," is there?

:-T

what i guess i should take amusement from is the fact that the question of which way i bend inspired real discussion between them. like, they just couldn't tell for sure either way.

one of them is a bi woman. she's been annoying the hell out of me. like, she decided some time ago that she and i were going to be b.f.f., but there is no one in the building more annoying than she. she is a large woman, and she tends to talk non-stop. just when you think she's stopping to pause for breath and will stop talking, she starts a new inundation of words. but she's the one who decided i was "one of them" because of the watch i wear.

the other one, a middle-aged gay guy, wasn't too sure about me, he said. he thought i could go either way. he told me all this just now.

but yeah, that's why i'm flustered -- because he kinda came out and outed me without asking me outright, per se. and i'm like SHEESH. can't i have some privacy?

:-T

it's just weird. i've never been outed at work before. i've always maintained that line between private and professional. i'm not used to this, so it's kinda made me do a double-take.

the simple rule of thumb, at least for me, has always been m.y.o.b. i'll respect your space, you respect mine. you take me at face value, i'll take you at face value unless you give me reason to do otherwise. equal dignity, equal respect. period.

*sigh*

still, i want to know how in the frickin' world is my watch so totally gay and such a big give-away? granted, my watch has a wide leather band -- and it's black -- but is it gay? i welcome feedback. i feel i should also add that when i bought the watch last year, i actually wanted to get it in red -- but when i got to the store, all they had left was black.

so there. i actually wanted it in red. would it have made a difference if it were red?

*sigh*

i liked it better when i was more ambiguous.

thanks a lot, gay dude. you've succeeded in jolting me out of the rest of my day.

poopersnap.

:-T

seriously. don't they have anything better to do than speculate as to whether i'm "one of them" or not?

"one of them," my butt.

as if!

sorry. but i stand alone.