getting back to normal

*sigh of relief*

finally. got another call for an interview today. it's set for next monday.

i was seriously worried about the long silence that occurred between the time i started sending out job apps starting at the beginning of february until now. like, i was seriously ready to start prostituting myself out just to be able to put some food on the table!

so luckily i got this call. :)

the agency that called me appears to be in dire need of hiring someone. the thing is that the position it's seeking to fill is a limited-term one, and the incumbent will techically only be in the position for a few months. but when the position becomes approved, it'll formally become a permanent position, and the incumbent may be offered the permanent spot.

frankly, i don't care whether a position is permanent or temporary at this point. yo necessito dinero ahora!

and it sounds like a job offer will be made the same day the interview is. based on my conversation with the lady who set me up with the interview, monday morning is generally booked full of interviews, but as of today, the afternoon was wide open. so at least for now, it doesn't sound like the agency has a lot of candidates. . . . but of course, the week is still young.

i banged my shin earlier this evening. hurts like the devil! and yet as someone who has ignored most bodily discomforts for the sake of hard-core studying these past couple of months, i kinda do welcome the pain.

it's the little things, like that, that help you remember that you're human and that there are more important than some lame test.

i'm also a bit sore from running for the first time in over a month and from doing crunches. i started hitting the gym yesterday, and already i'm feeling so much better. plus, it's been fairly warm outside lately, and it's been so great to feel the sun's rays on me. i feel like i haven't seen the sun in forever. in fact, i feel like a brand new year only just started yesterday and that i now, at last, have a fresh, blank new slate before me.

yesterday was also the day i started initiating contact with real live people, other than my mom and sisters. :-P i'm on the same page as measuring life when it comes to this: it's just so hard fielding questions from others about how It went. but i know that most of the peeps in my life only ask out of concern, so i have to consciously try to be cool about it for their sake, instead of letting my reactionary, defensive emotions get the best of me. and so far, it's been cool.

but seriously, what a humbling year 2007 was for me. i'm pretty determined to not let this year be a repeat of all that crap. in fact, i've been doing some thinking, and it seems to be a fairly reasonable step for me to hold off on-retaking the bar exam, assuming i fail it again, and also hold off on graduate school for another year while i get my financial situation a little more stable again. that way, i can start being a care-free, fun-loving, productive member of society again.

i'm just so eager to start living again. and i feel that i haven't been able to do so for exactly one year now because i've had to study for and take two consecutive bar exams. working for at least this next year or so would give me the means for enjoying life once more. i'd be able to afford to travel to see all my friends, go shopping, imbibe without guilt, and all the other good stuff that i haven't been able to do this past year and that i've really missed out on.

but this isn't a decision that's set in stone quite yet. i'm still thinking about things. . . . the only thing that would probably change this course of thinking is if i actually got into one of my top three or four choices for graduate school. and then hell yeah, i'd be more than happy to drop everything and be ready to go at the start of fall semester. :)

oh, speaking of: you guys are first to know that i got my first rejection notice from one of the grad programs i applied to. uh-huh. i actually got my rejection notice via e-mail at least a couple of weeks ago . . . . but haven't told a soul about it. it would make me feel like i was confessing -- even though i have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about. one of my best friends was rooting for me to get into that program that i got rejected from. i totally had a chance to tell her last night about it -- but didn't. and i still feel guilty about not telling her yet . . . but i'm just not ready to go there.

i'm weird like that. i can be hot-tempered and reactionary and go off the cuff when my emotions are provoked.

but there are certain things that i have to mull over before i can take action.

anyhow, i'm glad i can start worrying about other important matters other than the damned bar exam! it's like breaking up after a really bad relationship; you're in the relationship in order to make it work -- but when you're finally free of the relationship, you can understand how much better off you are without it.

that's how i feel about the bar. :)

now i'm going to try to stop worrying about it -- until may 16th, anyway.

:-P

;)