i have had a touch-and-go relationship with this blog since i first started it up, just less than a year ago. i've always wanted it to work but was never really sure what place it had in my life, since i already have another blog that is hosted on another site. a couple of times, this blog became more of a burden than a boon, and i decided to stop blogging here twice.
after the second time i quit this blog, then decided to come back again, it was because i had resolved to write on here as clearly and truthfully as i could. i could not do so on my other blog, and i felt constricted by all the things that i was leaving unexpressed; i just cannot write as freely or honestly there. therefore, i came back to blogger and took to writing on this blog with a renewed sense of purpose, and i have not looked back since.
i give the blogger community a lot of deference; everyone i have "met" here is very mature and intelligent, and i trust any of them who happen to stumble upon my blog on any given day to judge it and to take it or leave it as they will. and i have to admit that the fact that this blog is completely anonymous has given me the courage to write about things i probably wouldn't ordinarily write about.
take my last post, for example. it definitely deviates from what i usually write, obviously. it contains, as the anonymous commenter there pointed out, "t.m.i."
to tell the truth, i wholeheartedly agree -- perhaps it is t.m.i. to talk about such things. and i have to admit that i felt somewhat self-conscious and uneasy when i posted it. i knew the subject matter and the details would shock the sensibilities of my gentle reader(s). but in the end, i decided to post it because, well, why the hell not?
no one pays me to write on this blog. no one sponsors me. i do it of my own volition. therefore, the way i see it, i can blog about whatever i want to blog. plus, obviously, i'm just yet one of millions upon millions of blogs floating out there on the internetz, and there are probably only one or two people who read me on a regular basis anyway. if these are not reasons enough for me to write purely for myself and not for a particular audience, i don't know what is. and while i'd love to always stick to "safe" topics, even i have to admit that it can get rather dry and boring writing about the same ol' things over and over again, i.e., the bar exam and its aftermath, the job hunt, etc. i just like to think there is more to me than that stuff.
i will not apologize nor censor myself. i'm an anonymous blogger, trying to make sense of her own life and mind -- and i see no reason to be less than honest about my journey.
and that is all i will say on this.
oh, but i do feel it incumbent to at least warn you, anonymous, that my next post may also involve hot tubs, so you might want to veer your eyes away from this blog for a while. i can also point you in the direction of some great, well-written blogs that are more conducive to your pg-13 rated preferences if you'd like.
thank you, and have a good day.
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2 comments:
Actually, there are only 2 or 3 blogs that discuss post Feb CA Bar sentiment. You and another blog or two update often. Irrational Basis and Waitress JD are fairly consistent. Grand Poobah freaked everybody out with his post bar analysis, then quit posting (until today. Come on, dude!). If we can just get Show Me To The Beach to update more often... I suspect there are at least 100 people waiting for results who read you. Unfortunately, even though we all have jobs, families, activities, and passions, the Feb Bar results are all we can think about. Your blog is evidence that someone else is really going through the same thing we are. I think I speak for everybody when I say that we hope you include some post bar discussion in your hot tub post...and all posts. Also, I like your music. Thanks for having this blog.
Mr. Worrywart
It's your blog, write what you want :)
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