updates on stuff

good news:

temp services has come through for me. i've got two really-short-term gigs lined up this month.

bad news:

i'm being paid less than i was before at my last temping gig.

still, every little bit helps.

the temp services lady also wanted to see if she could slopt me into this longer-term temping gig. it'd be a part-time job that would require my presence five days a week. i told her i could do, at most, four days a week, monday thru thursday.

personally, i'd just like to hold friday open if only because i have a bar review class that night, and if need be, i'd like that whole day to be free in case i need to catch up on any studying or homework for that night.

yes, the class requires homework and holds you accountable if you don't do it -- which is great for my lazy ass!

anyhow, because i held out on the idea of working fridays, that job offer ended up getting revoked.

ah, well. i'm trying not to shed tears about it. :-P

seriously, though, the next time the temp services lady calls me about another job offer, i'm gonna say, don't bother -- i'm done temping.

don't get me wrong. i'm grateful for the two mini-jobs i've got. but seriously, for one, i'm getting paid about $ 13/hour and for the other, it's more like $ 15/hour. which is fine -- like, great! i genuinely am grateful. and they both last less than a day -- even better!

but the downer is that both gigs will require about 75 miles of driving, round-trip, and also that i'll be having to buy single-day parking passes.

not to sound like a whiny cheapskate, but seriously, half the money i'll be making on those days will go directly to paying for gas and parking alone! gas here topped off at about $ 3.44/gallon about a week or so ago and is back down to about $ 3.14. and i can't help but weigh pros and cons like that.

in any case, i accepted both jobs, but for sure, i'd rather not accept anymore temping gigs. the lady has already informed me that the chances are virtually zero of finding a temping job a little closer to where i live on the part-time basis i requested. :-P

it is probably pathetic of me to publicly relay my financial situation that i have at the moment. but you know what? i don't do it for me or for the sake of garnering pity. i do it because, on the off-chance that someone stumbles onto my blog in the same kind of situation, i can at least show them that they're not alone; there's at least one other person in the same situation.

and the only reason why i can talk about the difficulties of the bar exam and become-an-attorney rat race is because of the other blogs i've found on here by people who've been in the same situation, too. seriously, it's a weight off my back to know that i'm not the only poor soul suffering from the kind of mental anxiety that first law school, then the bar exam have given me.

but anyway, yeah, so i'll be quitting the temp shit soon, and that's okay -- i'd really would much rather be hanging out around the house instead any day. especially now, during winter. have i mentioned that i absolutely loathe cold weather? well, here in norcal, it's pretty brusque outside. not cold, as in the kind of cold i'm used to after having lived in the beehive state. but still brusque -- jacket required. couple that with the non-stop rain we've been having the past few days, interspersed with the occasional cold winds, and you have a really cold and miserable abbagirl who ends up much preferring to stay at home, bundled up in thick layers, sitting cross-legged on her chair at her lap-top, blogging away, while an electric heater soothingly emits warm rays in her general direction and her little chihuahua naps on her lap and keeps her thighs warm.



in other news:

older sister is irritating the hell out of me. birthday or not, birthday girls need to play nice and not be so self-absorbed and clueless at least one day outta the year!

how mean is she?

lemme illustrate. say you are having a bad day and are having a bit of a 'tude, and then along comes abbagirl. because you're having a bad day, you can't help but start snapping at abbagirl and cussing her brains out.

abbagirl would only look at you in aghast concern and have a look of wounded innocence in her eyes. her brows would furrow, and her expression would plaintively ask, why are you yelling at me?

but if you were having a bad day and happened to snap at abbagirl's sister, oh, holy fuck. you better run and hide, like, right NOW. the look of venom in her eyes alone would be enough to make your brain start frying, and you would be dead before you even hit the ground.

seriously.

and that's what happened to me today. i asked her a quick question, something totally random and harmless, and i literally got my head bitten off.

like, day-um!

*sigh* sisters.

and in yet other news:

i'm not a fan of old navy.

if i were a momma of an infant, i'd probably make sure to shop at old navy for my kiddie. old navy offers looks that are "in" while not being too over-priced. so if i were concerned about upchuck, poo, pee, and booger-splatters all over and ruining the kid's clothes, then old navy would prolly be the way to go.

but i hate old navy for a couple of other reasons.

first off, the clothes tend to be ultra boxy on me. i might as well be dressed in a ruck-sack. everything is big-boobed, wide-shouldered, and wide-hipped. i wish i were chestier. but at the end of the day, i'm not. so it doesn't make sense for me to shop at a place that just doesn't have my fit.

secondly, the reason why i hate old navy is mostly because of the clientele.

i can't stand old navy shoppers!

i went with my younger sister the other day at around 2 p.m. if you wanna meet ultra-crusty, middle-aged, overweight, hoity-toity, suburban mother/conventional house-wife, minivan driving types, go to your local old navy during typical business work hours, and you'll meet plenty of them leisurely shopping with their noses stuck in the air as they wait for the time to pick up their kids from school and their husbands are slaving away at some blue or white collar job somewheres.

i'm not dissing them because they are housewives or stay-at-home moms. to each his own.

i'm dissing them 'cause their rotten 'tudes.

it's not that, when i shop, i wanna be b.f.f. with everyone. just let me be, and let me browse.

what i don't want is some turd-face housewife waddling past me, giving me a dirty glance, then haughtily sticking her nose in the air while her back stiffens.

like, screw you! what have you got in life that's so special, at least compared to me, you wrinkly jerk-hole!

sure, you may be comfortable in your $ 300k house with an immaculately mowed front lawn and rug-rats biting your ankles while i mope around my house and buying my groceries on credit.

but you know what?

i ain't livin' off anyone's coattails. i don't depend on anyone for my livelihood. my life isn't slave to the demands and time-table of anyone else's schedules. who are you to think you're better than me!

screw you! punk-ass bitch!

not to rage like a lunatic and bitch about everything, though.

i'm just having a rough day, i think. too bad i can't go around tasering people.

"bad day" -- fuel

evil bar examiners

goodness gracious.

i am finally looking into all the instructions as to when and how to file to re-take the durned calbar.

i have until december 4, 2007, to file a timely application. otherwise, a late fee of $ 50 will be assessed if i re-file between december 5 and december 31, 2007, or $ 250, if i file between january 1 and january 15, 2008.

fine. i can file by december 4th. that's no problem.

i do have a problem, however, with how much i have to pay just to take the damned thing again.

don't these people realize that there are a lot of poor fools like me who can't afford it?

pretty much, i have to pay again the amount i've already paid to fail the damned thing: $ 529.00.

and then tack on another $ 119.00 for the opportunity to take the exam on a laptop.

(seriously, the calbar folks can't just go ahead and use round numbers?)

that's a total of $ 648.00 that i need to come up with by december 4th -- and still be able to do things like pay my bills and for all my basic necessities.

this leaves abbagirl in a bit of a quandry.

it is making me seriously think about taking up another temp job just to get by. a temp job would be just the thing because of how mindless the work is, and i can probably jump from a mindless job during the day to hard-core studying in the evening if i put my mind to it.

i got a voice message earlier this week from someone at the temp office. they are, oh, about four or five weeks late in returning my last voice message to them, in which i gave them notice of my intent to resign. now, the temp office wants to know what my plans are, i.e., if i'm interested in lending my services out again. i haven't called them back yet. perhaps i should keep on temping, i don't know.

my fear in working full time is that my studying would suffer tremendously. i'm generally a multi-tasking kind of girl who can keep occupied with many different things going on at one time; if i don't have my hands in different pots, i get rather bored. but studying for the bar is a full-time occupation in itself. and so the question is essentially, can i handle two full-time jobs at the same time?

if my past experience is any indication . . . well, it would be a challenge.

at the same time, it will only be for three months. surely, it won't be that bad . . . .

but do i want to risk it? only to find myself having wasted yet another precious $ 648 to fail?

that's kinda why i'm mad at the bar examiners at the moment. they really don't want to make it easy for us, do they?

seriously, not even a frickin' discount for miserable repeat test-takers?

in fact, i'd love to see that: a discount for repeat test-takers -- and for each time a test-taker has to re-take the exam until s/he passes, the discount rate should be accordingly increased.

'cause it's pretty fucked.

i'm shaking my head at all this. but i will prevail!! this is just a setback -- and what's a setback but a way for one to challenge oneself into becoming a stronger person, right?

:-P

i'm just having a period in my life at the moment when i feel that i have fallen down on my luck in so many ways and that i cannot, for the life of me, get up out of this massive sinkhole that i've managed to dig for myself. not only that, but all these problems and worries continue to pile themselves onto each other endlessly in a concerted effort to see how far i can sink down into the depths of despair.

but you know, at the same time, i'm just at the point where i can only laugh about it all. i'm at the point where i think i can finally see, far off in the distance, what i want to do and where i want to be in five, ten, or fifteen years from now. i can see it almost clearly and yet not quite. but all i know is, right now, i just have to get myself to fight through all this drudge i have in front of me so that i can get myself to where i rightfully should and can be.

know what i mean?

anyhow, if there's anything i know for sure right now, it's this:

i'm back on my ol' poor-grad-student diet.

this entails one of my favorite recipes. and hell, i will share it here, just in case there happens to be anyone out there in need of a new recipe to change up his or her customary dietary routine. please feel free to take notes and also to suggest any alternative recipes.

ready? here goes -- you need the following:

1. a pot of boiling water

2. a pack of ramen noodles. chicken-flavored is good, but creamy chicken is the best, if you can find it.

3. vienna sausages. don't hate! mystery meat or not, they're actually hella good with ramen noodles. and most importantly, you can usually find them on sale, three cans for $ 1.

4. fresh iceberg lettuce, red or green leaf lettuce, mint leaves, and/or cilantro. my mom likes bean sprouts in hers, and while i'm a fan of bean sprouts in general, i've never liked them cooked in my ramen noodles. but they're definitely an option.

5. and if you really want to live on the edge, just crack an egg into the soup and mix it around until you get something that looks like egg-drop soup.

it's delish! it's one of those recipes that is ideal for when you are too tired, too lazy, or too bored to cook anything else. and you hit all your basic food groups, too.

but you know what the ultimate poor-person meal is, right?

steamed rice.

served with a small side of salted pork. and either freshly sliced cukes or some pickled leeks to balance out the saltiness.

YUM. that's actually one of my favorite meals because of its simplicity. sometimes the simplest foods taste the best and are the most filling.

darn it, all these thoughts about food is making me awfully hungry. time for a midnight snack, i think.