starting anew.

i just got home.

from a date.

with a guy.

and it was fun.

i'm going to see him again. i really had a great time with him. i like him.

what does this mean?

other than the fact that i like him and definitely would like to see him again?

i really don't know.

as far as the roommate situation . . . .

i have not stayed at the house for a while. instead, i've been staying at my parents'.

my roommate and i have had two days' worth of shouting matches.

things are not good on that front. where we go from here, i don't really know. but my heart's been breaking. it's been breaking for a long time. but it's been breaking even more lately.

i'm done with it all, for the most part.

there is still another part of me that wants her back, wants to continue to be a part of her life in whatever capacity she will give to me. it hurts way too much for things to be like this.

but i can't. i won't. she is not always in the right. she doesn't always know what's best. she's selfish. self-centered. manipulative. a user. a leech. no matter what, i have to do what's right for me. even if that means dealing with the hurt when it creeps up.

i gave her my thirty day's notice yesterday. she was pushing me in that direction. she wanted me to be the one who gave up and went away and left her the house.

fine.

i gave her what she wanted.

now i just really gotta pick up the pieces. and start anew.