right now

she is entertaining him at the house.

he is going to eat dinner there tonight.

then they are going to fuck.

and then they are going to fall asleep together.

i, of course, am not there. i am staying elsewhere tonight.

i should not be bothered by all this. it should be old hat. they've been seeing each other for three months now. i was oblivious for two of those months. and nothing about our friendship had changed, really . . . .

but it does bother me.

i hate to begrudge others when they are having a good time. and i especially should not begrudge dimples for her good time.

but it's hard not to. it's hard to relax and just let things go.

. . . . . . . .