all in a day's work

my boss called me into his office the other day, the way he usually does when he wants me to come to him:

"ABBAGIRL!!"

the instant i heard his name, i jumped right out of my seat. "yes?" i called out to him even before i made it to his door. i didn't want him to think i was lazy or anything.

he waited until i had gotten to his doorway. he had been at his computer with his back to the door, typing in his usual methodical manner. but the moment i appeared, he pushed away from the computer, turned to look at me, and gave me a scrutinizing look.

he then asked me a question:

"what are you doing here?"

the question took me by surprise. i instantly knew what he was getting at, but i wanted to hear him spell it out. i gave him a careful look and asked him, in return, "what do you mean?"

he continued to give me a contemplative look. "i mean, what are you doing here? why are you here?"

i tried to clear my head. i don't know why i'm there, to tell the truth. but i couldn't tell him that. i tried to search for an answer that i thought would be diplomatic, something that would let him know that i was genuinely interested in being there and working with him and yet would not make me look like a sniveling kiss ass.

but he saved me by asking more questions. "why are you motivated to do such good work? do you want to go into management or something? do you want to get a promotion?"

i stopped trying to overthink my answer at that point. "oh no!" i told him hastily. "no! i'm not interested in going into management. there are so many responsibilities -- i don't think i'm ready for that!"

"hmm," he said, as if he doubted me.

"i totally enjoy what i'm doing," i assured him. "i enjoy where i'm at right now, working for you, and from where i sit, i'm getting exposed to so many interesting things involving the department and the lawsuit."

"okay," he said. he paused, then he said with that abrupt display of good humor that i've now gotten used to, " have i told you how glad i am that you're here? i'm really glad!" he smacked the desk with his open right hand for emphasis; it made a wickedly loud slap.

i started laughing. "no, you didn't!" i told him, even though he's been telling me that at least once a week ever since i began working for him. "really? me?"

"yes," he said, with a smile. "and hey, if you ever want to go to any training classes or find yourself ready for a promotion, you let me know, all right?"

i smiled at him. it was one of the smiles i give to people when i genuinely feel gratitude and affection for them. "thanks, boss," i told him warmly.

"i'm not your boss," he said with a faux snarl. "we're a team!"

"okay, boss," i said.

this was two weeks ago.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

today was seriously hellacious.

i found myself preoccupied with revising a 100+ report that's supposed to ultimately be submitted to a court.

each of the separate parts of the report were written by various people. so some parts were well-written. others were . . . NOT.

i didn't do much today -- except fix my entire attention on that damned report.

and that explains why i am now dazed and confused and feel all tweaked out.

editing is not hard for me. i've always had a great feel for the rules of grammar, sentence structures, word choices. i know it's not a unique talent among most people who are educated. but i have an aunt who, uncomfortably for me, is in awe of that ability.

she herself was not born in the united states. but she was only four or five when the family fled vietnam. so she occupies that middle ground between first generation and second generation viet-americans. she is removed enough from the traditions of my grandparents -- and while she's americanized, she's not as *ahem* white as, say, me.

i tried to explain to her my thought processes when it comes to editing or revising a paper. but i was just at a loss. i ended up lamely saying, "i just know it when i see it."

and i don't think it's possible to describe it anyway. there are too many rules to take into account to be able to pinpoint exactly why it is that a sentence may or many not be structured or written well. you just know.

and yet imagine my surprise today, when i was on the verge of finishing my edits to the 100+-paged report, which i was concentratedly doing with a red-inked pen. i was getting excited because i was almost done and once i was done, i could get the damned thing off my desk and do something else.

but my boss happened to stop by my cube, and he peered at what i was doing. "how's it going?" he asked.

i smiled at him through the tiredness on my face. "almost done!" i told him cheerily. "i can get this to you by noon!"

"great!" he said. and then off he went.

an hour later, i heard him call me from his office:

"ABBAGIRL!!"

i jumped up with my usual hastiness and strode to his door. i called out, "yes?" before i even reached the doorway.

"new assignment," he said. and he threw a pack of papers at me across his desk.

"these are [another manager's] revisions to the report. i know you're working on your revisions now. but i'll e-mail you the electronic version of the report. i want you to incorporate your revisions onto the document directly, and then look through [the manager's] comments and, if they make sense and are needed, go ahead and put those in, too."

O_o

it took me all day. i am whupped. i also had to stay an extra 1.5 hours to make sure it all got done.

but you know, i thought it was cool. dude has faith in me! it feels bad ass when someone shows that much faith in you.

if only he knew. i'm not a go-getter because i have any ambition. i'm a go-getter because . . .

. . . i just don't ever want to disappoint.

:-T

but . . . i'm glad that damned report is off my desk. it was seriously boring. the boringness of it explains why my eyes are so worn out.

;)

now . . .

i'm off to the beehive state. i've got a wedding reception to be at tomorrow! one of my best friends is getting married!

i'll be back before long.

:)