evil bar examiners

goodness gracious.

i am finally looking into all the instructions as to when and how to file to re-take the durned calbar.

i have until december 4, 2007, to file a timely application. otherwise, a late fee of $ 50 will be assessed if i re-file between december 5 and december 31, 2007, or $ 250, if i file between january 1 and january 15, 2008.

fine. i can file by december 4th. that's no problem.

i do have a problem, however, with how much i have to pay just to take the damned thing again.

don't these people realize that there are a lot of poor fools like me who can't afford it?

pretty much, i have to pay again the amount i've already paid to fail the damned thing: $ 529.00.

and then tack on another $ 119.00 for the opportunity to take the exam on a laptop.

(seriously, the calbar folks can't just go ahead and use round numbers?)

that's a total of $ 648.00 that i need to come up with by december 4th -- and still be able to do things like pay my bills and for all my basic necessities.

this leaves abbagirl in a bit of a quandry.

it is making me seriously think about taking up another temp job just to get by. a temp job would be just the thing because of how mindless the work is, and i can probably jump from a mindless job during the day to hard-core studying in the evening if i put my mind to it.

i got a voice message earlier this week from someone at the temp office. they are, oh, about four or five weeks late in returning my last voice message to them, in which i gave them notice of my intent to resign. now, the temp office wants to know what my plans are, i.e., if i'm interested in lending my services out again. i haven't called them back yet. perhaps i should keep on temping, i don't know.

my fear in working full time is that my studying would suffer tremendously. i'm generally a multi-tasking kind of girl who can keep occupied with many different things going on at one time; if i don't have my hands in different pots, i get rather bored. but studying for the bar is a full-time occupation in itself. and so the question is essentially, can i handle two full-time jobs at the same time?

if my past experience is any indication . . . well, it would be a challenge.

at the same time, it will only be for three months. surely, it won't be that bad . . . .

but do i want to risk it? only to find myself having wasted yet another precious $ 648 to fail?

that's kinda why i'm mad at the bar examiners at the moment. they really don't want to make it easy for us, do they?

seriously, not even a frickin' discount for miserable repeat test-takers?

in fact, i'd love to see that: a discount for repeat test-takers -- and for each time a test-taker has to re-take the exam until s/he passes, the discount rate should be accordingly increased.

'cause it's pretty fucked.

i'm shaking my head at all this. but i will prevail!! this is just a setback -- and what's a setback but a way for one to challenge oneself into becoming a stronger person, right?

:-P

i'm just having a period in my life at the moment when i feel that i have fallen down on my luck in so many ways and that i cannot, for the life of me, get up out of this massive sinkhole that i've managed to dig for myself. not only that, but all these problems and worries continue to pile themselves onto each other endlessly in a concerted effort to see how far i can sink down into the depths of despair.

but you know, at the same time, i'm just at the point where i can only laugh about it all. i'm at the point where i think i can finally see, far off in the distance, what i want to do and where i want to be in five, ten, or fifteen years from now. i can see it almost clearly and yet not quite. but all i know is, right now, i just have to get myself to fight through all this drudge i have in front of me so that i can get myself to where i rightfully should and can be.

know what i mean?

anyhow, if there's anything i know for sure right now, it's this:

i'm back on my ol' poor-grad-student diet.

this entails one of my favorite recipes. and hell, i will share it here, just in case there happens to be anyone out there in need of a new recipe to change up his or her customary dietary routine. please feel free to take notes and also to suggest any alternative recipes.

ready? here goes -- you need the following:

1. a pot of boiling water

2. a pack of ramen noodles. chicken-flavored is good, but creamy chicken is the best, if you can find it.

3. vienna sausages. don't hate! mystery meat or not, they're actually hella good with ramen noodles. and most importantly, you can usually find them on sale, three cans for $ 1.

4. fresh iceberg lettuce, red or green leaf lettuce, mint leaves, and/or cilantro. my mom likes bean sprouts in hers, and while i'm a fan of bean sprouts in general, i've never liked them cooked in my ramen noodles. but they're definitely an option.

5. and if you really want to live on the edge, just crack an egg into the soup and mix it around until you get something that looks like egg-drop soup.

it's delish! it's one of those recipes that is ideal for when you are too tired, too lazy, or too bored to cook anything else. and you hit all your basic food groups, too.

but you know what the ultimate poor-person meal is, right?

steamed rice.

served with a small side of salted pork. and either freshly sliced cukes or some pickled leeks to balance out the saltiness.

YUM. that's actually one of my favorite meals because of its simplicity. sometimes the simplest foods taste the best and are the most filling.

darn it, all these thoughts about food is making me awfully hungry. time for a midnight snack, i think.