no, it doesn't make it better to know that i'm being lied to, even as i'm being lied to.
i want to talk about it with her. i want to acknowledge to her that i know what's been going on so that it's out in the open. i want to tell her that it's okay for her to be seeing that guy again and that i am cool with it, even if that is not really true. but i know that, even if i say appeasing, understanding words, i would visibly display emotions that are contrary to what i'd be saying.
not my friend. . . .
she is not my friend anymore.
she never really was.
