current status report

haven't been blogging lately.

haven't had anything to say, really.

i am totally burned out. totally slacking off with the studying. sometimes i wonder why i am doing this again -- i had already resolved not to do it, at least not until i'm ready.

and i'm not really sure i'm feeling ready for it this time around. :-T

still, i've paid my $600+ for this opportunity, and i've gotten this far, so might as well finish it out just so that i can say that i followed through. will give myself 3 hours to do 100 mbe questions this evening to see where i'm at with that and whether i need to do at least a few more practice questions before next week. hopefully, i'm good to go with those and can use the remainder of my time concentrating on the essays and making sure i can recite as many rules and statements of law as i can for each of the topics. gotta know those cold . . . .

didn't do any practice mpt questions. i think i'm good with those. i've consistently scored 65s and 70s on those the last couple of go-'rounds, so i'm not going to be too worried about those. if anything, i know the three hours that are given to answer each one is probably going to wear me down a little. but other than that, i'm not really concerned about them, and i'll make sure i can grind it out.

i've gotten fat. i can't believe how quickly my body can just go. haven't gone on a run since mid-june. i've been eating a lot. i've been mostly sedentary. i've been slurping on a lot of iced soy chai lattes and vanilla soy lattes from starbucks to aid my study endeavors. i've started up smoking as well this past month.

and now my belly is hanging over the top of my pants.

i find myself absentmindedly poking myself in the soft cushion of my belly a lot lately. or squeezing the belly fat between my fingers. i'm kind of fascinated by it all, by my own body's changes. i certainly can't wait to have my life resume again after next week and to be able to take care of myself a little bit better. but i'm still fascinated. if i let myself go and did not care, it looks like i'd be a pear-shaped woman. i'd still have my thin chicken legs, and my shoulders would still be bony and slight. but my belly would protrude. there would not be an even spread of fat throughout the whole of my body. it'd all sit in my middle.

i'd be pear-shaped.

ew.

can't wait to start running again. seriously.

:-T