wordless

ugh. i'm feeling pretty heavy and slammed right now.

think i caught a bug from work. it's been winding around the office, infecting people one by one. and now it's my turn.

if i could, i would totally call in sick tomorrow. but you know how it is with us bureaucratic/office employees: we never stay home when we're sick, even when we should. it's our mission to infect everyone else.

:-T

seriously, though, can't. my immediate boss is gone for the next two weeks. people think of me as virtually his doppelganger whenever he's out of the office, and because he's an important cog in the wheel, people always come to him with questions on things. when he's not around, the next best thing (apparently) is me. i don't pretend to have my boss' expertise and knowledge. in fact, it would probably be best and safest if everyone concerned pretended that i was on vacation, too. but as it is, i just do my best and help people along whenever they come to me for questions that they otherwise would ask my boss.

anyhoo, there's a pretty important meeting tomorrow. if i still feel like shit on thursday, i may call in sick. but i don't think i can do so for tomorrow.

:-T

i've got the dropkick murphys' "kiss me, i'm shit-faced" playing in the side-bar of my blog. i love that song. full of macho irish bravado! they rock!

there's a new person in my unit. she's actually been a long-term employee for my department and is of a much higher level than me, but she's new to the nature of the work we do -- lots of paper-pushing and paper-trail creation and maintenance. she's not used to being so sedentary.

anyhow, finally got a chance to chat with her in a personable way this afternoon. turns out we have a lot in common, so it was nice to get to know her. not sure whether i like her yet, but at the very least, i know i'll be able to maintain a positive professional relationship with her -- which is important because not all the upper-level peeps are so easily likeable.

during our conversation, i also got a little gay vibe from her. . . .

but eh, i don't really trust my gay-dar; it's weak as hell, and i'm usually quite wrong.

:-T

speaking of work, violet e-mailed me today. i have absolutely no desire to see her or talk to her right now. in her e-mail, she asked whether i had forgiven her yet and that she hoped so because she misses me.

a part of me thinks it appropriate to fake it, brush aside her apology and say that none is necessary, and try to put aside the utter disregard i currently feel for her for the sake of making her feel better and continuing to be her friend.

but at the same time, that would not be an appropriate action. not if i feel the way i do, which is utterly nothing, for her. it would be pretty untrue to myself and unfair to her for me to just try to resume the friendship again.

i dunno. . . .

i do know it's fucked up of me to not even return her e-mails, though. i feel bad about that. . . .

but even if i wanted to write her back, i just don't know what to say.

people. i think i just need a break from people altogether.

:-T