i'm being kept busy at work, and there are a number of pots to watch over. but i'm still managing to stay on my feet, over the stove, tending to each pot. there are moments of indecision when i wonder, in a tired way, whether i'm capable of doing the stuff i'm being asked to do. but in the end, i buck up and keep plowing forward because my boss is just exhibiting all sorts of confidence in me. so the least i can do is meet her at least half-way and make sure that confidence is not misplaced.
i can't get over how great my boss is. she knows a lot of the concepts are new to me, that there are a gazillion rules and policies that i'm not familiar with, so she has no problems repeating and simplifying her explanations so that a fuddy-duddy dunderhead like myself can understand a bit more easily.
simple language is best for abbagirl's poor, simple mind.
seriously, though, this boss rocks. very efficient and focused -- but totally personable. she can get caught up in the moment and start becoming really intense, though. i don't take it personally -- i know it's the fact that there's just so much shit to do. i just try to do my part, do whatever she instructs me to do -- but i also do other intangibles, too, which i know she appreciates. like, today, i finally saw flashes of annoyance in her because certain out-of-control things were happening or when other people were proving to be dumb asses. her tension was causing me to be tense. so i made a couple of quick jokes and flippant remarks, and they were enough to ease the tension and for her to start smiling again. and that, in turn, made it easier for me to concentrate on the stuff we were talking about.
i think that's at least a small part of the reason why i was hired: to balance out her intensity, her personality. i swear i don't do it in a kiss-ass way, though. i could if i wanted to! but it's just not my way. plus, i just genuinely like my boss! so there's no need to be a kiss-butt even if it was in my nature to be like that.
those other folks in the office who don't respect me until they find out i work for her are really starting to get on my nerves, though. like, whether you like me or don't like me, at least have the guts to make that decision on my own merits -- and not based on whom i'm associated or affiliated with. but even likeability is not the issue -- it's all about treating people you work with proper respect and decorum, regardless of who they are. i hate to sound like a first grade teacher here, but didn't we all learn the importance of getting along with each other when we were still knee-high and clinging to our mommy's hand?
:-P
in other news, i'm super stoked to report that i've managed to run every day this week. i've made a point of doing so after work each evening thus far. sometimes it's hard. like, today, i was just too pooped for words. i didn't think i'd be able to do it today. but after being home for about 45 minutes and just lounging about, something clicked in my head, and all of a sudden, i felt a surge of energy -- so i took advantage, before i could change my mind, and got myself ready for the gym.
generally, i either hit the park that's near my house, where there is a rugged, unpaved track, and run laps, or if the weather is too cold or windy or too late in the evening, i hit the gym. it's all in an effort to be in tip-top condition for a race this sunday, and i am quite intent on ensuring that no eighty-year-old man, gimping along in short shorts, passes me by and laps me.
yes, that happened to me last year. swear to god.
:-T
something else i'm super stoked about, and forgive my nerdiness, is the fact that i'm getting super cute eyeglasses.
yah. uh-huh. i'm a nerd.
:-T
one of the first things i did, after finally being able to enroll in all the wonderful benefits provided by my job, is get an eye exam done -- which, as a near-sighted nerd who has desperately staved off using her very last pair of disposable contact lenses for, like, ever now, is practically heaven-sent. so i've finally got a new stash of contact lenses.
whew! state jobs ROCK!!
and after a lot of agonizing over a couple of cute frames at the doctor's office, i finally narrowed my choices down to a valentino frame or a juicy couture one (no, i had no idea juicy couture made eyeglass frames, either. but as you'd expect, they had some really cute and trendy frames). both the valentino and the juicy ones were on the expensive side -- about $ 200 each. my vision plan allows for a $ 75 deductible, so i'd only have to pay about $ 125 out of pocket for the frames alone (there are other niceties you have to pay for out-of-pocket, too, though -- like the cost of shrinking your lenses so that you don't go around wearing thick glasses that magnify your eyeballs 400 times). even with the deductible, i thought $ 125 was still a bit much . . . .
but in the end, of course, i decided on the valentino one. ;)
i figured cuteness has a price -- and i might as well go for it while i can afford it. seriously, it feels good to throw money like that into the wind after having pinched pennies for so long. like, i'm just glad to not have to be burdened with worries of how i'm going to pay for my next stash of groceries! dude -- that shit sucks ass -- like, big time.
so now i'm just eagerly waiting for my new spectacles to be ready for pick-up. but seriously, it was cute. like, majorly. even if i were poor, i would still find a way to get them. i had forced my sister to come along with me to help me pick out frames, and she liked it, too. usually i prefer to wear contact lenses. but i think i'll start wearing glasses again soon for the heck of it.
:-T
anyhow . . . after my race this sunday, i think i'll start re-studying for the bar again.
. . . why the hell not? right? it's the logical step. and i'm a logical person. i know i ought to keep going and keep trying . . . .
i just need to figure out, as one anonymous commenter mentioned a while ago, where exactly i'm going wrong. what is it that prevents me from passing?
it fucking makes me mad to think about it. but i know i'm just still not understanding how my answers ought to be laid out. i can't wait to get my answers back and see what i wrote. i'll then compare them to the model answers that the calbar posts on the website.
but i know i have everything i need. i've got all the materials. i'll need to find some more mbe questions to practice on -- but other than that, i know i have everything i need. my outlines and outlining methods are good -- i know that because a friend of mine relied on a few outlines i had done for the california topics and found them helpful for one of the essay questions that came up . . . . and she passed.
it's this noggin of mine. i'm just . . . mentally stuck. in mediocrity. stuck. i am. not -- very bright. . . .
:(
abbagirl must think about her valentino eye glasses . . . yes, valentino . . . cute . . . cheer up, abbagirl. . . . don't let bar exam get you down . . . .
and think -- payday soon . . . ! this friday . . . then can go shopping -- for shoes!!
oh, yeah -- gotta get some shoes. :) i've got a family wedding reception dinner thing-y soon . . . i've had my eye on this cute strapless green dress -- and must go find matching shoes . . . .
okay, i guess i feel somewhat better now. . . .
:-T
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