thinking some worries out loud

she is gone.

 

for a couple of days, anyway.

 

it took five phone calls and a text message before she finally sent me a text saying that she was running away for a couple of days.

 

no, it wasn't anything that i did.

 

no, she has had drama that's been building up, drama having absolutely nothing to do with me.  and then it erupted really recently.  and she understandably needs time to get away and regroup.

 

it goes without saying: if i knew where she was right now, i would want to go to wherever she is and be there for her.

 

but then that sneaky suspicious side of me starts grousing.  because that guy she was/is/had been seeing is off work and on vacation for the next two weeks.  and she is not coming in to work the next couple of days herself. . . .

 

but that doesn't matter, right?  that shouldn't matter at all?  i just need to be glad she's okay.  i don't need to be hurt by the fact that she's not turning to me in her time of vulnerability nor by the possibility that she might be seeking solace in the arms of someone else right now.

 

right?

 

i can't really concentrate on work right now.  i'm worried about her.  i hope she's okay.  and i am trying to put all those sneaky suspicions aside.  as her friend, i just need to give her time, as she would for me, and just wait for her to come back to me.