dimples and i made plans earlier this week to take her kid to the zoo.
we solidified the plans yesterday. "so the zoo," she said when she saw me at work, "we still on?"
"for sure," i said. i like the zoo.
later in the day, towards the end of work, she sent me an e-mail: "pizza and beer tonight? i know we both have had a tough week."
i apologized. "i'm sorry," i said in my reply. "but there's that co-worker retirement party tonight. i have to go!:
"oh, yeah," she wrote back. "i totally forgot."
i sent another reply: "i'm sorry. but a raincheck for sure?"
i know she got it before she left work that day. but she didn't respond.
today, she had a doctor's appointment. but earlier in the week, she had said that she would be done with the appointment by 11:30 and that we could go to the zoo by then.
i got out of bed at 9. i was tired from staying late at the retirement party -- it had been fun -- but i was looking forward to the zoo.
10 a.m.
11 a.m.
12 p.m.
1 p.m.
at 1:30 p.m., i texted her. i wrote: "hope your dr.'s appt went well. we still on for the zoo?"
a few minutes later, i got her reply: "dr.'s appontment went good. i didn't think you'd be up for the zoo. but am leaving soon and can pick you up, since you are on the way."
i got pissed. what made her think, between yesterday and today, that i would not be "up" for going to the zoo? "no thanks," was my retort. "good thing i asked; otherwise would have continued sitting around and waiting all day. hope you guys have fun."
she sent back another message: "are you serious. dude, i have had a terrible morning. i can't deal. i didn't do it on purpose."
i wrote back: "i'm sorry you had a terrible morning, i really am. still, it would have been nice to know that i wasn't gonna be going after all or that you decided i would not be up for it. for sure, you should go and hopefully make your day change for the better."
since then, no reply.
now, i ain't done nothing wrong. i think i have every right to be miffed that she would change the plans on me a day after we had both agreed to go to the zoo. wtf.
i think she is getting back at me for not being there for her yesterday, when she made that offer of beer and pizza. but it's not like she hadn't known about that retirement party. it's been nothing but the talk of the office these past few weeks. people were stoked and excited about it. she forgot about it, yes. but i r.s.v.p.ed for the event. it was for a lady with whom i had been good friends with. i'm sorry that i could not have hung out with dimples for the night. but why does she have to punish me by changing plans at the last minute without even telling me?
but i know she does that. it's not the first time she's taken initiative to think and presume things about other people. she's changed plans on me before like this, under the guise that she didn't think i was "up" for something -- but really, it was more of a chance for her to lick her own wounds and retreat.
i shouldn't care. it serves her right. she has hurt me too many times to count, often without realizing it. i usually let things slide. today, a part of me urged me to take a softer approach and just let her know, after telling me that she had thought i wouldn't be "up" for the zoo, that it was all good, she should have fun, and not make a big deal out of it.
but i was pissed. i hate it when she does that. and all because i went to a retirement party that i'd r.s.v.p.ed for two weeks ago! good hell!
whatever happened to things being all good as between friends? i had this very discussion with her recently, maybe a month ago. i was talking about how an older dyke lady (the one whose retirement party i attended last night) had invited me out several times over the course of a weekend and that i had demurred each invitation because i had other plans. it was really awkward for me to politely refuse each overture. i didn't want to hurt her feelings -- but i did have other plans and plus i really didn't want to go hang out with her like that in certain, more intimate, one-on-one situations. well, the dyke lady punished me thereafter by being crusty and cold to me through the remaining weeks until the day of her final departure. last night, though, she was her old self again, which was nice. but dimples and i had had the conversation about why the dyke lady had taken it so personally that i'd said no. "if we were really friends," we agreed, "then it should be no problem to say no to hanging out. we just say to ourselves, 'fine -- let's try to find something to do together later on.' we don't take it personally."
but guess who can't seem to follow her own rules?
i'm still mad. i hate having changes made to plans that were supposed to be solid. i think it's rude to just change plans and not even tell me about it. but i'm also mad because i know when i see her next, i'm the one who is going to end up being on the defensive. i don't know how to argue with dimples. she also turns things on their head, and i am never prepared for the rationalizations she makes. so i know that i will end up scrambling and looking guilty, which will then be evidence for her that i really was never up to go to the zoo in the first place.
*groan*
what a horrid week. i need to calm down. my left eyelid is twitching.
i'm gonna go for a drive.
we solidified the plans yesterday. "so the zoo," she said when she saw me at work, "we still on?"
"for sure," i said. i like the zoo.
later in the day, towards the end of work, she sent me an e-mail: "pizza and beer tonight? i know we both have had a tough week."
i apologized. "i'm sorry," i said in my reply. "but there's that co-worker retirement party tonight. i have to go!:
"oh, yeah," she wrote back. "i totally forgot."
i sent another reply: "i'm sorry. but a raincheck for sure?"
i know she got it before she left work that day. but she didn't respond.
today, she had a doctor's appointment. but earlier in the week, she had said that she would be done with the appointment by 11:30 and that we could go to the zoo by then.
i got out of bed at 9. i was tired from staying late at the retirement party -- it had been fun -- but i was looking forward to the zoo.
10 a.m.
11 a.m.
12 p.m.
1 p.m.
at 1:30 p.m., i texted her. i wrote: "hope your dr.'s appt went well. we still on for the zoo?"
a few minutes later, i got her reply: "dr.'s appontment went good. i didn't think you'd be up for the zoo. but am leaving soon and can pick you up, since you are on the way."
i got pissed. what made her think, between yesterday and today, that i would not be "up" for going to the zoo? "no thanks," was my retort. "good thing i asked; otherwise would have continued sitting around and waiting all day. hope you guys have fun."
she sent back another message: "are you serious. dude, i have had a terrible morning. i can't deal. i didn't do it on purpose."
i wrote back: "i'm sorry you had a terrible morning, i really am. still, it would have been nice to know that i wasn't gonna be going after all or that you decided i would not be up for it. for sure, you should go and hopefully make your day change for the better."
since then, no reply.
now, i ain't done nothing wrong. i think i have every right to be miffed that she would change the plans on me a day after we had both agreed to go to the zoo. wtf.
i think she is getting back at me for not being there for her yesterday, when she made that offer of beer and pizza. but it's not like she hadn't known about that retirement party. it's been nothing but the talk of the office these past few weeks. people were stoked and excited about it. she forgot about it, yes. but i r.s.v.p.ed for the event. it was for a lady with whom i had been good friends with. i'm sorry that i could not have hung out with dimples for the night. but why does she have to punish me by changing plans at the last minute without even telling me?
but i know she does that. it's not the first time she's taken initiative to think and presume things about other people. she's changed plans on me before like this, under the guise that she didn't think i was "up" for something -- but really, it was more of a chance for her to lick her own wounds and retreat.
i shouldn't care. it serves her right. she has hurt me too many times to count, often without realizing it. i usually let things slide. today, a part of me urged me to take a softer approach and just let her know, after telling me that she had thought i wouldn't be "up" for the zoo, that it was all good, she should have fun, and not make a big deal out of it.
but i was pissed. i hate it when she does that. and all because i went to a retirement party that i'd r.s.v.p.ed for two weeks ago! good hell!
whatever happened to things being all good as between friends? i had this very discussion with her recently, maybe a month ago. i was talking about how an older dyke lady (the one whose retirement party i attended last night) had invited me out several times over the course of a weekend and that i had demurred each invitation because i had other plans. it was really awkward for me to politely refuse each overture. i didn't want to hurt her feelings -- but i did have other plans and plus i really didn't want to go hang out with her like that in certain, more intimate, one-on-one situations. well, the dyke lady punished me thereafter by being crusty and cold to me through the remaining weeks until the day of her final departure. last night, though, she was her old self again, which was nice. but dimples and i had had the conversation about why the dyke lady had taken it so personally that i'd said no. "if we were really friends," we agreed, "then it should be no problem to say no to hanging out. we just say to ourselves, 'fine -- let's try to find something to do together later on.' we don't take it personally."
but guess who can't seem to follow her own rules?
i'm still mad. i hate having changes made to plans that were supposed to be solid. i think it's rude to just change plans and not even tell me about it. but i'm also mad because i know when i see her next, i'm the one who is going to end up being on the defensive. i don't know how to argue with dimples. she also turns things on their head, and i am never prepared for the rationalizations she makes. so i know that i will end up scrambling and looking guilty, which will then be evidence for her that i really was never up to go to the zoo in the first place.
*groan*
what a horrid week. i need to calm down. my left eyelid is twitching.
i'm gonna go for a drive.
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