new and improving

i really like mellow, male-fronted bands. clap your hands, say yeah!, one republic, and guster are probably at the top of my list.

i haven't been able to write lately. either there is no time, no energy, or . . . no words.

i'm doing okay, though. i really am. i have been having a lot of great help. and i have been determined to establish new patterns, new ways of thinking. i'm definitely a lot more open to things lately. i haven't wanted to be as open for the longest time. i wanted to keep everything focused on a central point -- everything became concentrated on that one focal point, and i just got so carried away with that. . . .

that's not to say that things are 100% a-okay. things are never 100%. but i'm getting better and more nonchalant. i think i've made great strides. my outlook has improved a great deal.

a shake-up might be in order. i need something new. a new way of life. a new job, maybe. a new schedule. new people around me.

but . . . baby-steps. things will take time. things need to go at their own pace.

all this is not to say that there has been no drama. of course, there's been drama. there have been explosions, minor and major, here and there. but nothing that affected me too much. in the past, they might've taken huge emotional tolls.

not anymore.

i'm getting better.